Oricon Web Interview - Todokanai Ai and the Live Tour

Translated by: Gekka

Please do not copy, take, redistribute, retranslate or repost this translation without my permission. Thank you~

Not reaching the extent of being “hard”, and completely covered with a “heavy” and elaborate sound, Gackt's roar[1]of sadness resounds in the profound[2] rock ballad “Todokanai Ai To Shitteita Noni Osaekirezuni Aishi Tsudzuketa”, a direct hit released by Gackt! The release of the single is obvious, in conjunction with the album planned for the fall, and the stoic rawness of Gackt's own way of life greatly intensifies!

A ballad that appeared simply in the form of its natural self

Q: Expecting a continuation of the “heavy” line of songs[3], you surprisingly created a ballad, didn't you.

A: But, even though it's a ballad, this time it's an extremely intense[4] ballad... Because it's a “heavy ballad”[5], you know.

Q: Were you thinking of creating a “heavy ballad” from the beginning?

A: Creating this kind of sound was the link in the formation of the concept and sound in the album to be released this fall; this sound very much exists in all of the finished songs. Naturally, this song is also a part of that flow[6]. Also, the acoustic ballad album released last year, Love Letter, was a unique style for me. That image and musical composition was featured to a great extent on that album, so it's just the image of a ballad that accompanies this song. Basically, there are a lot of intense[4] songs on the album. And this time, while in the middle of creating the ballad(s) in this album, the sound naturally became intense[4]. So, it's a ballad that appeared simply in the form of its natural self.

Q: Of course, whatever type of song it is, are you carefully keeping the good feeling of loud guitar sounds?

A: Well, rather than saying “good feeling”, it's more like the sound is spreading out[7]. Even with ballads, there are various types; so for example, it would be different for a gentle ballad, but for this painful and sad ballad, if the sound comes to a peak[8], then to that extent, it reaches your heart; moreover, the way it reaches you is different, isn't it? It's as if it pierces you, I guess. In myself, I prefer intense[4] and sharp[8] ballads like this, and I get the feeling that one's heart[9] is being exposed.

Q: Undoubtedly, when watching you perform BLACK STONE and Metamorphoze, I feel an atmosphere of release.

A: Because the one year before that... The production of Love Letter was painful[10] (laughs).

Q: The album is planned for the fall, but right now, how far have you advanced?

A: Right now we are working on finishing up the recording. It's become quite a tight schedule (laughs). I want to raise the level of quality, and do something new, so we're going step by step, through trial and error. But, some good things have been completed, and it's been enjoyable work.

(Your) life is put out there, isn't it. Otherwise, I think the thoughts would not be conveyed.

Q: Do you, Gackt, personally like doing recording work?

A: If I'm asked if I like it or hate it, I guess I'd say I like it. But, if I'm asked “Is it fun?”, then I'd say it's not fun (laughs). After all, there are the difficult[11] parts.

Q: Indeed, is it the pain and suffering of bringing[12] the work into the world?

A: That's also true. You're stuck in the studio the whole time, right? So, you have to think of pulling yourself out, otherwise you won't be able to see anymore[13]. That's why recently I've been thinking about what my own “stance” ought to be. If you get stuck inside the studio, then a lot of it just becomes self-pleasure[14], so it's complicated. So, looking at things in a different light is something I'm taking seriously. I'm not leaving anything half-done. There is the self that is pulling along the other self that is stuck inside. Well, it's the same as love[15] (laughs).

Q: I see (laughs). Then in this album, that trial and error went well.

A: That's true isn't it. The other thing is one's physical condition. I was continuously involved in the production of the album, and now I'm in rehearsal for the concerts, and then I'll be on tour for quite a number of performances. It's almost as if I'm thinking, “Can I really handle it[16]?”

Q: Indeed, there are 35 dates!

A: Right? I might not be able to handle it[16], huh (laughs). But if I can't do it, then it would become a lie. I can't say that I won't be able to handle it[16]. I have to do it with that kind of feeling. And I can't let it run empty. I absolutely never think of each performance as being one of 35. One by one, I always do it thinking, “Today is the last performance!” I hate giving up, so I don't want to give up. And I also think there is nothing we can do about our lifespan being so short. There'd be no meaning for me to do a performance[17] that anyone can do. I have to do a performance[17] that only I can do, not something anyone can do.

Q: That feeling of perfection and aggressiveness can't be imitated, can it?

A: I believe it would be impossible. I think the kind of stage I create is really troublesome. But I do it because I want to preserve the piece of work. That is something that the entire staff concerned with the work also understands. That's why it is my pride and my motivation.

Q: Listening to you talking now, the determined and stoic part, and the way you raise your motivation, you are now very similar to a martial artist!

A: I wonder (laughs). But, at the least, while I think that I can fight, I also don't want to lose. And on top of that, at the time when you lose, there is some consolation. You can make adjustments[18] in your mind and be satisfied[19]. If you lose a match because you enter it lazily[20], you will absolutely never have that satisfaction. I think, “If you're going to be like that, don't enter the ring!” It's the same feeling as that.

Q: Surely a stage is a ring, isn't it.

A: I wonder if it is. (Your) life is put out there, isn't it. Otherwise, I think the thoughts would not be conveyed. After all, putting (your) life on the line is the very reason the performance can be beautiful and deeply moving. Because (you) do it at the limits. (You) think that (you) can show it and deliver it. If it's done lazily, then it won't become a place of beauty and it won't be an outstanding performance. Because there is a feeling of tension when going to the limits, (you) can say “That was a good match! That was a good performance[17]!”[21]

Notes:
[1] “houkou”: roar; yell; bellow; howl. 
[2] “jyuukou”: profound; deep; imposing; elevated.
[3] Referring to the most recent singles, BLACK STONE (and Ash) and Metamorphoze.
[4] “hageshii”: violent; strong; fierce; fervent; vehement.
[5] “Heavy ballad” is written in katakana. The words 'heavy', 'ballad', and 'hard' are written in katakana throughout the interview.
[6] “nagare”: flow; stream; current; run.
[7]“hirogari”: spread (out); extend; stretch; reach (to); get around; widen.
[8] “togaru”: get pointed; sharpen; peak; taper.
[9] “shinjyou”: feelings; heart; sentiment.
[10] “kurushii”: painful; strenuous; hard; difficult.
[11] “tsurai”: trying; hard; painful; bitter.
“umi”: literally, giving birth to.
He doesn't say exactly what it is he can't “see” anymore, but you can get the meaning from the context of the next couple sentences.
“masutaabeishon”: the word “masturbation” in katakana.
“renai”: love; love-making; passion.
“motsu”: have; take; hold; carry.
“stage”: when Gackt is talking about his concerts, he calls it a “stage”. So, he says things like, “There'd be no meaning for me to do a stage that anyone can do.” In these contexts, I used the word “performance” because it captures all aspects of his concert, not just the “stage” itself.
“seiri”: (re)arrange; put in order; (re)adjust; sort out; reorganize.
“nattoku”: understand; satisfy (oneself); accept; consent.
“dara dara”: lazy; sluggish.
In this entire paragraph, Gackt omits the subject, so it's hard to tell whether he is speaking hypothetically or about himself. So all of the “yous” in that paragraph are implied. I think it's obvious he is talking about himself, but it's not so obvious whether or not he wants to make these statements general or specific.

Source: http://www.oricon.co.jp/music/interview/050810_01.html (August 10, 2005)

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