Utaban, appearance on May 26 2005 (Metamorphoze)

Translated by:  Sweiled

1. Please DO NOT take my translations and use them for whatever reason, without my permission.
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Nakai: xxx = Young host speaking
Taka: xxx = Older host speaking (sitting on the Gackt’s right)
Gackt: xxx = Gackt speaking
Y: xxx= Descriptions/Comments by the side. Usually on the bottom right-hand corner.
Y: (xxx) = Words not explicitly said in the clip. To make the sentence more smoothly...
[xxx] = explanation
xxx = reactions of audiences/host/Gackt


Nakai: Are!? (Hmm!?)
A brightness that you will never get when Gackt is around
Audience laughs
Taka: Is it all right?
[Normally they would dim the lights for Gackt because he cannot stand bright lights. But the lights were still on this time round when Gackt is about to come in.]
Nakai: Let’s welcome him! Gackt-san, please come in!
Nakai: This ambiance doesn’t really fit you. ( 雰囲気 fu n i ki: ambiance, mood, feel, atmosphere)
Audience laughs
Gackt: Every time the staff spends so much money (to do the lighting for me)
Audience laughs
Taka: Yes, indeed
Gackt: Aah moushiwakenai (I’m sorry)…
Audience laughs
Nakai: And because you feel bad, this time you decided not to (turn on the lights)?
Gackt: (I told them) you don’t have to do it this time round.
Nakai: But isn’t it a bit too bright?
Nakai: You look strained
Gackt: I’ve been feeling iraira since just now. (iraira: anxiety, anger, irritated. Nervous)
Audience laughs
Nakai: That is rather dangerous.
Nakai: Turn on the lights!
Taka: (Darken it) Until he doesn’t feel iraira (anymore).
Gackt: Well, if it’s like this…
Audience laughs
Taka: It’s not that today’s recording is done after 12 (midnight), (okay?)
[As if he is talking to the audience about the dark lighting… ]
Audience laughs

~~After the commercial break~~

Nakai: Your latest single (Metamorphoze) is the theme song for the movie of Gundam.
Nakai: We’ve heard previously that you love Gundam.
Gackt: The seiyuus (voice actors) were really into it.
Taka: Seiyuu
Gackt: Gundam's
Taka: Taka-san, don’t you know?
Taka: I don’t
Nakai: You don’t know Gundam?
Taka: I know nothing of Gundam
Gackt: You don’t know who Char is?
Gackt: You don’t know who Char is?
Taka: Sha dora dora?
[Something to do with mahjong and game tiles. Japanese Mahjong is somewhat different from the Chinese Mahjong.]
Audience laughs
Taka: What (is it)?
Taka: I have never watched Gundam
Nakai: The red comet. Not Akahoshi Norihiro though
[Playing with words here. The nickname of one of the characters in Gundam, Char, is ‘red comet’ akai suisei (赤い彗星). Akahoshi Norihiro is a baseball player from Hanshin (Osaka-Kobe) Tigers. And in kanji, his name is written like this: 赤星憲広]
Audience laughs
Gackt: It’s also not ‘akau sou’ or ‘akau pin’.
[Mahjong tiles. There are three suits in total. ‘Akau sou’ is from the bamboo suit while ‘akau pin’ is from the circles suit. There are 4 numbers of ‘5’ in each suit. (5, 5, 5, 5) and there is only one number from each suit which is red in colour. Hence, in total there is 12 number 5s and only 3 are red in colour. Thank you, gakuto_chan for helping me find this information!]
Audience laughs
Taka: Well, I don’t really play ‘akau sou’ or akau pin’.
Audience laughs
Nakai: We’ve talked about Gundam just now and we’ll move on to robots now. This will suit you well. Let’s take a look.

Sign: Utaban Television Shopping exclusively for Gackt-sama
The product that we are going to introduce today is by Sakakibara, the huge robot “LAND WALKER”. Driving a robot is what anybody would have dreamt of doing when they were young. And this is exactly what you need to help you realize your dream. It is 3 m 40cm tall and has a wide and comfortable cockpit. The cockpit can also easily fit one adult in it. It has a speed of 1.5 km. It is very safe and walks at a slower pace than a human's normal walking speed. The robot is also very stable.

There are 2 levers in the cockpit and 4 pedals and anyone can control it easily. A monitor is also attached which allows you to look below (at where you are stepping). Both hands are also fitted with air guns and the balls (are so safe that they) won’t even be able to kill an insect. And the price is… 36,000,000 yen. If you buy it now, we’ll give a shooting board (for the robot to practice on)!

Nakai: It is possible to get it if Gackt-san really wants to have it. (He said it in a real polite and long-winded way)
Gackt wouldn’t mind even though this product has not been tested (lit. examined, studied), right?
Gackt: Unn, if Nakai-kun (wants to) buy it for me, I don’t mind accepting it.
Audience laughs
Nakai: 36,000,000 yen is expensive. And next we have prepared the robots that Gaku-chan recommended. Here they are.
At last, Gackt-robo makes it’s first public (lit. world) appearance!
Audience claps
We’ll start with Gackt-robo's abilities right away
Nakai: This (robot) is an imitation of Gackt. Please demonstrate.
Nakai: Look, it’s taking a shower.
Audience laughs
Gackt: Sugoi na. (amazing)
Everybody: Woo! Woo!
Taka: It’s trembling, it’s trembling ( yureru: shake, tremble, shiver, shudder, waver)
Audience laughs
Gackt: Woo!
Gackt: Woo!
Taka: Hee
Gackt: Sugoi
Ishibashi-robo has great moves too
Nakai: They have Taka-san’s as well. Taka-san’s.
Staff: Here it goes
Audience laughs
Of course, Nakai-robo also has excellent skills
Nakai's robot fell after dancing
Audience laughs
excellent skills…
Staff: Allow me to do it again.
Nakai: You don’t have to do such funny movements.
Audience laughs
Nakai: This is just a demonstration.
Everybody: Woo! Woo! Woo!
Taka: The rock dance…
Audience laughs
Staff: And one more…
Staff: Para para (dance)…
Audience laughs
Even a programmed Nakai-robo is a laughing stock… Amazing
Nakai: (Sorry, can’t catch what he said. Something along the line of asking everyone to try out their respective robots, probably)
Since it is quite a rare (opportunity), the 3 robos will battle each other
Staff: (Press that and) it will punch
Nakai: Wait a minute, doesn't mine have something like that?
Audience laughs
Nakai: It only has stuff like, ‘rei’ (bow, showing gratitude, etc), ‘baibai’ (as in Bye bye?) and ‘yatta’
Audience laughs
Staff: It can also do ‘gomen’
Nakai: Gomen
Nakai: Gomen nasai (I’m sorry)
Audience laughs
Nakai: I don’t need these (kind of moves)! We are supposed to fight each other, right?
Nakai: You don’t need “gomen nasai’!
Nakai: We will take a corner each and fight each other.
Gackt: Taka-san’s is fast! Zurui na. (not fair)
Nakai: It’s okay because mine is super slow.
Audience laughs
Nakai: Whoever's robot falls twice will be out, okay?
Gackt/Taka: Okay
Nakai: Yoi, start!
Taka: Scary
Taka's robot does back flip all of a sudden
Audience laughs
Taka: Right kick
Taka: Right kick
Gackt: Yosh
Nakai: Todoke! Todoke! (Go go (lit. reach/arrive))
Nakai: It’s moving back, it’s moving back
Nakai: Don’t move back, you!
Audience laughs
Taka: Right kick
All the robots fell down.
Audience laughs
All are self-destructing baka robos
Gackt: Right right right
Gackt: Right right right
Gackt: Yosh!
Audience laughs
It finally looks like a fighting scene (lit. becomes like fighting) somewhat
Taka: Yes!
Taka: And what now?
Taka: What happens now?
Audience laughs
Gackt: Body press
Audience laughs
Nakai: Gaku-chan is amazing
Gackt: Body press
Gackt: Ike! (Go)
Gackt: Ittekimasu! (a phrase one normally says before leaving the house. Also means go)
Audience laughs
Taka: That is fun.
Kuyashii (vexing or a feeling of anger and regret)
Audience laughs

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