By: Gekka

Day 1 – Arrival in Paris
Sweiled and I got to Narita airport around 8:00 a.m. to meet with the tour people. It went really smoothly~ Checked in, got our neckpiece passes (which are very cool by the way!), and then got our Gackt goodies. It was a blanket in a little pouch and a luggage tag; the blanket has silver embroidery on it with a small picture, and both say “Gackt Presents for Dears Special Days in Paris 3rd-9th April 2008”. We had a lot of time before boarding, so we took care of bank stuff and then had breakfast. At that point I didn’t quite feel like I was going on a Dears trip~

The flight was about 12 hours, and we landed in Paris in the afternoon. After collecting our bags, we got on a bus for the one hour ride to our hotel. During the bus ride, they played a CD of Gackt’s welcome message. ^^ It was actually quite long, like 30 minutes. He talked about sites to see in Paris, and then called the members so they could give us a message. XD It had some funny moments~

I think it was on the bus ride we found out that we would be leaving for the photoshoot at 10:50 a.m. the next day. We were relieved that we would have time to sleep in (XD) and to grab breakfast before getting ready for the photoshoot.

We got to the hotel and dropped off our stuff, and then headed out to get our bearings. Our hotel was kind of in a far-off location, not really close to any shops or restaurants. But we did manage to find the closest metro stop. Ended up eating dinner at the hotel, where these tiny fruit flies kept attacking us/our food while we ate. XD I had salmon which was kinda salty (a recurring theme when it came to my food in Paris).

That night I know I didn’t sleep well, though I wanted to because I didn’t want to look all jet lagged. Nerves I guess.

Day 2 – Photoshoot
We dragged ourselves out of bed and headed down for the breakfast buffet. It was American style, and kinda bad. XD But it was food~ enough to sustain us until lunch (or so I thought XD). We got dressed, put on our makeup, did our hair, etc., and then headed down to meet the group at the tourdesk. I guess that’s when I really felt it~ I was on a fanclub trip with other dears! :D They were scary though. XD XD

The other dears were dressed in a range of super fancy to pretty casual. The super fancy ones were wearing prom dresses and ball gowns, and one even looked like a wedding dress. The majority were wearing black, and some were wearing bold colors. It was a spectacle~ We boarded the bus and headed to the hotel where the photoshoot was taking place. Of course it was freezing cold outside, and here we were running back and forth to the bus in dresses and heels and fancy hair. XD

When we arrived at the hotel, we all gathered in a room where they explained what would happen. They then called our names one by one, and we walked into the holding room. They called Sweiled first and then me, so we didn’t get separated. :D Inside the holding room it was just chairs lined up in a ballroom, I think there was room for 200 people. As they walked in one by one, it was like watching a beauty pageant, as Sweiled said. To me it reminded me of American Idol, hahahaha. They told us the rules and what to expect~ we weren’t supposed to talk to him, except to thank him at the end (which they stressed!), and we weren’t supposed to ask him to pose. Then they called the first 30 people out, and then there was a pause. Next they started calling 10 people at a time (row by row). Each row took about 5-10 minutes, and then they called us! At that point I was feeling nervous, needed to go pee really bad and my stomach was starting to hurt~ whether from hunger or nervousness I’m not really sure. XD

We walked to the elevator and went up to the 25th floor, the top floor. I think they explained what would happen on the way up, but I forget what they said. ^^; When the elevator doors opened, we were told to stand in line next to the wall. It was dead quiet in that area. One by one we went forward towards the door. There was a place to hang our coats right before we went in. Dears were coming out, pretty quietly, and as one would go out, they would send one in. I was soo nervous~ my legs were wobbly and it was hard to breathe.

I went into the room, and it was pitch black. I think Sweiled showed me where to put my purse, which was a table right in the center of the little room. One person came out, and then Sweiled went in. When one person would come out, they would hold open these thick curtains, and you could see the brightly lit room on the other side. Then they close the curtain, and then open it for the next person. She came out and took her sweater (I don’t think we really looked at each other). Then the curtain opened….

I walked in, and what I remember most clearly is his face. I’m pretty sure I saw his legs first, or the couch, but when I looked up, there was his face looking straight at me~ I guess I wasn’t expecting him to be so close to the entrance. I took a few wobbly steps towards him, all the while having a huge (probably goofy looking) grin on my face. I made a conscious effort to give a really big smile because he had commented how he wanted to see everyone’s smiling face. ^^; I think someone said to please sit down, which I did. After I sat down, he immediately pulled me closer, with his hand falling pretty close to my bust area. *DOKI DOKI* XD XD But he pulled me hard enough I had to lift my butt up and scoot closer to him twice. Then I remember looking into the lens and trying to have a ‘toned down’ smile because I don’t like how I look when I smile too big (too much teeth!). I think someone said thank you or get up or get out (hahaha, very politely of course), so I got up and took his hand in both of mine, shook it and said something pretty lame. XD XD I also whispered it, for whatever reason~ probably because I was still keeping up with the whole ‘keep quiet’ atmosphere. -__- So I wonder if he heard me. As I held his hand, he said “tanoshindene”~

I walked into the pitch black waiting area again, and all I could see was two rectangles on my eyeballs from the flash. ^^; So I was kinda stumbling around in there, until I got out and went to find Sweiled at the elevator. I wanted to confirm what I had just seen~

Like I said, what I remember the most is his face. His eyes were soooo blue. Light blue. His gaze was firm and enveloping. The way it felt, was that he wanted to see me. 100% of his attention at that moment was on me. Or so it felt. He never does anything half-heartedly, does he?

He glowed~ yes, from the lights, and from his super white clothes (which really surprised me when I walked in!), but more than that~ he glowed from his eyes, and from his slight smile. His voice was so soft and gentle, it felt like a hug. His touch was protective and caring, I wanted to stay protected by him there, forever.

How can a person like this exist in this world?

It’s not easy to put into words. If I have to put it into words, I would say he was gorgeous and beautiful, and he took my breath away. Seeing him live, in a one on one setting like this, is probably the ultimate Gackt experience. One that I will never forget, and one that will stay with me forever.

We went downstairs and went into the waiting room to wait for our pictures to print. It was there, too, that we randomly selected our seats for the acoustic live the following night. The block number on my card didn’t sound too promising. -_-

As I sat and waited, I noticed that my hand still smelled of him~ So every once in a while I would breathe in the scent that lingered and reimagine what I had just experienced. Of course, I then went to the bathroom and washed my hands, so that didn’t last very long. XD

The picture itself turned out pretty good and I was happy with it~ ^^ though my first thought was how it didn’t quite capture what I saw, how he looked. But it didn’t matter because that memory was still in my brain. Now, I can still see it, but the details are starting to fade~ ;__; So having the photo to look back on, to remember that moment, is wonderful.

The photoshoot was what I looked forward to the most for this trip, and it exceeded all expectations! Of course, it also left me wanting more. ^^

Day 2 continued – Secret Event
After the photoshoot, we had some time to kill before the secret event, so we did some sightseeing and shopping in the afternoon. We went back to the hotel and ate our dinner, and got ready for the secret event. This year’s secret event was going to be an illuminations bus tour~ not much of a secret since we had to sign up for it before even arriving in Paris! XD We were divided into groups of 8 and during the bus tour, we were supposed to answer questions as a team.

We got on the bus, and I sat next to an older woman who was kinda scary. XD; The rest of the people on my team were friendly enough though. But once the bus tour started, I got a headache and soon got bus sick. -__-; I guess I’m not good at riding buses while trying to read/look backwards. ^^; Then the Gackt quiz started~ they played a CD of Gackt asking various questions…about himself! Some of the questions were so obscure, you wouldn’t be able to answer without just giving a guess. Other questions were answerable. But I didn’t contribute anything to the team. ^^;; I had thought it was going to be questions about France, since it was a bus tour of the main landmarks in Paris! I was thankful whenever the bus stopped (3 times), and we got off to take pictures. It was freezing outside, but I preferred being outside to being on the wavy shaky bouncy bus. XD; Finally it was over, and I didn’t even know what most of our answers were.

So the secret event was a bust for me~ But I got a couple nice pics of illuminated Paris! You can check Sweiled’s report for more details about the quiz itself.

Day 3 – Acoustic live
The next morning was Sunday, and we were told that all the museums were free that day. So we made plans to go to the Louvre. We had to be back by around 5:00 to get ready for the live, though, so we didn’t have much time. We did a few things before going to the Louvre, spent a few hours there, and then got back to the hotel and got dressed up for the acoustic live.

The live was going to take place at the Gaston Berger L’amphitheatre, located in the Cite des sciences et de l’industrie complex. We boarded the bus, and traveled for about 30 minutes. The bus parked in the underground garage, and had quite a time trying to back into the parking space! They announced that the concert would be delayed, and said we should use the restroom in the garage because the facilities inside were limited. So of course a million dears rushed to the restroom and formed a huge line that snaked inside the bathroom foyer area. Luckily Sweiled and I got there pretty early (compared with the other buses anyway) and we headed back to wait on the bus.

Soon after we got back, they announced that we could go in. So we got off the bus, and went upstairs to the plaza area in front of the complex. It was raining then, and windy and cold, and we all RAN to the entrance. It was actually kind of scary! It was like a stampede of dears ready to knock down the doors of the theatre. XD We got to the entrance, and they were checking bags there; we were told not to bring anything with us, but I guess some people didn’t listen. -__- After being patted down and checked, we got into the building, and it looked to me like a mall. ^^; It wasn’t a mall though~ just felt weird being stared at by ‘regular’ people who must’ve thought we were all crazy to be dressed like that in such weather.

We ended up in another line to the right, which we soon realized was a line for the restroom. ^^; So we left that line and got into the fast moving one in the center~ it led straight into the theatre. We showed our cards to the usher guy who pointed out our seats—way at the top of the second level. -___- There were nine blocks, and we were in block seven. The two blocks above us were worse, with block nine being the absolute worst~ being on level ground at the very top. Sweiled and I were separated by a pointy barrier type thing that divided the upper part in half. She sat on the barrier and talked with me for a while, as we watched the rest of the dears trickle in. We were far from the stage, and it was hard not to feel disappointed.

The live started, with the members coming out first to take their places on stage. Gackt followed, walking to the center. The audience was really quiet.

Set list:
Noni saku hana no youni
Sakurasou
Tsuki no uta
Peace
Missing
Kimi ni aitakute
~
Mirror
Another World
~
Love Letter
Road
Dears

He started off with Noni saku. His voice sounded strong, and it was a great way to kick off the concert. I only remember bits and pieces of what he said in between the songs, and the order is not that clear. He said that he had caught a cold. ^^; Seems like everytime I see him he has a cold! XD Well, not that I’ve seen him all that much. XD XD I should send him some Airborne before his next tour, hahahaha. He said how it felt strange that he had taken a picture with each one of us, and now he was holding a concert in front of us the next day~ there’s no one else who would do that! He also said that he wanted to sing a lot of songs for us this time.

Sakurasou, Peace and Tsuki no Uta were all nice. Though Tsuki no Uta didn’t quite fit. ^^;

I remember him saying about "Missing" that he hadn't performed it in a long time, and it was probably the best surprise of the night for me. I've always thought it was one of his most emotional songs, with a sense of being 'real'. Gackt said that if he died before us, he would want to come back to us with the feeling of this song; and if we died before he did, then vice versa. Of course he stressed that he will NOT die. XD; If I ever lose someone close to me, I'll think of this song. And if I pass away before my loved ones, I hope to see them smiling on without me.

Before Mirror, they presented awards to the three teams that scored the most points during the secret event. The winners were called up on stage and were given medals. Gackt placed the medals around their necks, and shook their hands. As Gackt called their names and they walked up on stage, Gackt asked Chacha to play an appropriate little tune. He kept being unsatisfied with the tune, though, and made Chacha change it over and over, until he eventually asked You to take over. XD Of course Gackt was satisfied with You’s tune right away. ^^

Next, they called up the three teams that scored the lowest points on the quiz. He called them by name again, but this time he asked for some gloomy-sinister music to accompany their march onto the stage. ^^ He was playfully rude to them, telling them to ‘get up here’, ‘sit down’ and ‘don’t look at me!’. XD He had the three groups sit on the right, left and center of the stage, facing the audience. Those people were darn lucky!

This was the part of the concert where the three groups did different hand-claps, which were supposed to join together to form a harmonious and nice sounding beat. You had the group on the left, and his team easily learned their clapping pattern. Chacha had the group on the right, and they too did fine. Gackt had the group in the middle, us, and we failed miserably. XD XD It was really funny to see Gackt getting all upset at us for screwing up, time and time again, and whispering to Chacha that it was impossible for us. XD He eventually changed our clapping pattern to something that was supposed to be easier~ but we failed yet again. So he changed ours again, and then he changed Chacha’s and You’s hand claps as well! It was quite amazing to see him come up with these patterns on the spot, and having them synchronize perfectly. ^^ When all three groups were finally in sync, he started singing Mirror. It was great fun.

For Another World, they passed out lyrics sheets to us, which divided us into two groups, red and blue. Gackt was apparently unaware that we had already been divided into groups, as he tried to divide the theatre exactly in half, by telling the two rows in the middle to raise their hands. People were like “huh??”, and they eventually conveyed to Gackt that we were already divided into groups~ his reaction to that was really cute. ^^

So we sang the song together with Gackt, following along with our lyrics sheets. The whole audience had the lines “nya nya nya nya”. When the song finished, Gackt commented that it was really weird because no one was looking at him during the performance, instead we were all looking at our lyrics sheet! “Look..at..ME!!” he said. XD

Surprisingly, I didn't cry when he sang Love Letter. I guess because although it's a very emotional song, I'm not really tied to it in any way. Road is when the tears flowed instantly. That song is meaningful in so many ways. First because of its message, and second because it connects me and Sweiled. ^^ I'm so glad he sang it this time, when we were together (though separated by several seats and a partial wall), because I don't know when that will ever happen again.

And then finally there was Dears. I've always wanted to hear it live, and was disappointed when he didn't sing it during the DIABOLOS tour. Like Road, Dears is a song that reminds me that when things are bad, there is a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to. Or a break in the rain clouds. This song represents my relationship with Gackt, from the very beginning when I first found him, all the way up to now. He was the one fighting through all obstacles, while I was the one struggling along on the road, tired from walking without direction. As I met him, I began to realize that some things are worth fighting for, and the fact that we spent the same time period fighting together kept me going. And it still does.

When it was over, Gackt asked each member to give a little speech. And then he sent us his own message. As always, it was very touching. He told us to work hard over the next year, so that we can look back and see how much we have accomplished. To become better people when next we met. He wants us to be able to consider the next fanclub trip a gift to ourselves for all our hard work over the year.

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