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February 22, 2001
This is Gackt’s first appearance on Utaban. First, they ask him what he usually does at home. He says he drinks, smokes, watches TV, and that’s about it. He then talks about how he got food poisoning from eating oysters. Next he talks about how he likes to cook and he goes food shopping at stores like Marusho. He uses pork belly blocks (butabara) for curry, but he doesn’t use just regular pork lined up at the front; he goes to the back of the store and asks for the hidden meat. The hidden meat is supposedly the good meat that they don’t have on display, but keep hidden at the back. He goes into the back through the swinging doors, asks to see the manager and insists on seeing the hidden butabara. They bring out the butabara and ask him which one he wants, and he pokes at it to see which is good. He buys one pig’s worth to make curry. He says it takes four days to make the curry, so he tells his friends four days in advance to come over for curry. At the end of this clip, he plays the piano, which suddenly starts rotating as he plays (there are guys crawling on the ground and moving the platform around). The hosts say, didn’t the piano just move? And Gackt says, “Did it?” He plays again, and once again the piano rotates, while the hosts laugh at him. He asks if they are trying to bully him.

2001
This is Gackt’s second appearance on Utaban. They first talk about his previous appearance where he talked about getting the hidden meat at the back of Marusho. Gackt says he can’t go there anymore because the shop now knows about his search for the hidden meat. Everywhere he goes, people point at him and say “butabara!!”, so he says he would need to wear a disguise to get the meat. Next they talk about showering~ Gackt demonstrates “The Matrix” showering technique. He then talks about sex, saying he’s not the type to do it everyday, but he can do it eight hours straight. Then comes the famous Magnum line~ He says he is not embarrassed being seen naked because he is a Magnum. After talking about the Magnum (and saying he didn’t meant say it on national television), he demonstrates the crotch-splitting device he uses in training. The hosts are amazed at how flexible he is, and how hard his abs are. They then ask Gackt to invite them over the next time he makes curry (four days in advance of course), imagining how he would look cooking curry naked and reading a book. Gackt says he doesn’t walk around naked as much anymore because he is living with his staff and older sister. He also says they would have to get past his staff to get into his house.

September 6, 2001
This is Gackt’s third appearance on the show, and he makes his entrance by playing the drums. He plays very vigorously and dramatically, and stops with a sigh. They have the set decorated like a jungle, with skulls, plants and candles, because Gackt’s house is decorated that way. Gackt says that ever since the last appearance where he said he was a magnum, people now yell “magnum” when they see him. He says they even yelled “magnum” at him when he was in Taiwan. Gackt says that compared to those magnums in porno films, his is a “lil’ magnum”. They ask him what he’s better at than other people, and he says he can hear better than ordinary people. He can hear very high and very low frequencies in fluorescent lights. One of the hosts says he must hear like a dog. He then talks about how he doesn’t sleep much, and that in the last two weeks he has only slept for four hours. Next he talks about the type of girls he doesn’t like, and he says he doesn’t like girls who throw things when they get mad. He says they’ll throw things like ashtrays and bowls at him, which he’ll just catch and put down. It scares him because he doesn’t know what they’ll throw next. He also talks about how he doesn’t like girls who use rough language, or who point at him and say, “Aa, Gackt.” Next they ask what he has wanted to do on Utaban, and he says he wants to have some kind of match. They then decide to play shiritori. In shiritori, each person has to say a word that starts with the last letter of the word said by the previous person. So, Gackt’s first word is “somurie” (sommelier), and Taka loses because he can’t think of a word that starts with “e”. He gets flicked on the forehead as punishment. Gackt’s flick sort of misses, which cracks up Nakai. They continue the game, with Taka saying “ei” (“stingray”), Nakai says “ika” (“squid”), Gackt says “kahala” (a place in Hawaii) at the last minute, Taka says “laosu” (“Laos”), Nakai says “suika” (“watermelon”), Gackt pauses for a long time and then says “kahala mandarin orientaru hoteru” (“Kahala Mandarin Oriental Hotel”). The game goes on for quite some time after this, with Gackt continually bringing up the Kahala Mandarin Oriental Hotel. The lights finally go out and the show ends without another loser. Gackt and GacktJob performed Another World. Gackt wore the black and white print shirt and white pants which he wore in the PV for Another World. His hair was short and brown, styled the same as in the PV, giving him a boyish and youthful look. GacktJob wore outfits similar to Gackt’s. There was a lot of colorful lights and smoke blowing during this performance.

December 27, 2001
For this appearance on Utaban, the set is decorated in roses. Gackt says that his house is similarly decorated, and that he used real roses at first but they die and it has to be cleaned up. He says he doesn’t clean his house, and that the staff does it. But he occasionally folds the towels, which he demonstrates (he folds them in thirds). He then talks about how he jumps at midnight on New Years Eve because he can’t greet the new year otherwise. He listens to the time signal on the phone and then jumps because he doesn’t want to be on the earth when the year changes. Nakai keeps looking at the camera, acting like he is afraid of Gackt. He says that he will jump even when he is performing at a live; he’ll go backstage and jump because he doesn’t want to be seen. The hosts think it’s strange because the fans would want to see him and jump with him, but Gackt says if he jumped in front of them, they’ll ask “why” and it’s too much trouble to explain why. After that, they bring out a cauldron of Gackt’s butabara curry, which he has made over the past four days. He says he soaks the butabara in wine and milk for one day, and then cooks it in the curry. Both the hosts seem to like the taste of the curry. Next, they talk about the shiritori game they played the last time he was on the show, and they decide to play again. Gackt brings out a weird metal device that he slips on his middle finger and demonstrates it by shattering a bottle. He jokes that he wants to use it for the punishment part of the game, where the loser gets their forehead flicked. They play “kaiwa shiritori”. In the game, they have a conversation where each person has to start their phrase with the last letter used by the person before them (for example, Gackt starts by saying “Taka-san wa shiritori suki?”, and Taka says, “kiraijyanaikedo motto tanoshii koto aruyo ne”). Nakai messes up, and as punishment, he gets flicked on the forehead. Gackt performed Juunigatsu no Love Song, wearing a long black coat with furry collar. For the talk portion, his short red hair was spiked up, but in the performance it is down flat. Gackt is accompanied by GacktJob playing acoustic instruments. Behind them is a screen with gold and green lights swirling and flashing. At one point, the screens show images of flickering candles, and at there are images of feathers floating.

2002
In this appearance, Gackt talks about his relationship with his father. He says that he doesn’t talk to his father much, but one day he gets a phone call from him saying that he wants to come see his concert and to prepare a seat for him. Gackt said, “yes” and had the seat prepared. After the concert, on his way back to the hotel, he gets a phone call from his father. The first thing his father says is, “Quit singing!” and then he says, “just play the piano.” Gackt thought, “What?!” and said, “okay, okay” and hung up. Then his father attended another one of Gackt’s concert, and again called him after it was over. This time he said, “you’ve gotten a little bit better.” It was the first time his father had praised him, and Gackt started crying from happiness. His father continued, saying, “You’ve become who you are because all of your fans are here; don’t ever forget that.”

April 3, 2003
In this appearance, the set is decorated like a construction zone. They ask Gackt why the set isn’t decorated with roses this time, and Gackt explains that he is having his house remodeled. He says he wants a fountain installed (with blood red water). Next, they talk about Moon Child and they show a clip. You can see Gackt is a little embarrassed seeing clips of himself. He says he really got into his character, and he would speak like his character, using rough language, even when he wasn’t filming. The movie was filmed in Taiwan and it was extremely hot there. He says how usually when you are somewhere hot, it’s a relief to go indoors (feels like you’re surrounded with roses~), but not in Taiwan—there, it’s hot even indoors! He also talks about how his staff would put cooling sheets all over his body to keep him cool. But then while filming, every once in a while the sheet would fall off during a dramatic moment. He then tells a funny story about how Wang Leehom taught him a phrase in Chinese to use when he wants to be friendly. Leehom told him to say it with a big smile to girls. So Gackt tried it out, saying the phrase, “kou jiao hao ma” to girls, but they kept having a disgusted reaction to him. He thought his pronunciation was bad, but then he found out that it meant a request for oral sex! Next he talks about having a drinking competition with all the staff; of course he won, but ended up throwing up out the taxi door on the way home. He said he was like one of those streetcleaning machines. At the end, they play a game of shiritori using props. In this shiritori game, they have to act out a scene using one of the props. In Gackt’s scene, he says, “Takasan nande shindandayo” (“Taka-san, why did you die?). Taka-san is next, and he says, “Yokota ga hannin dayo” (“Yokota is the culprit”). Nakai follows up with “Dareka~~ dareka~~ blargharhga” (“Somebody~ Somebody~ blargharhga”). Taka says the scene doesn’t connect with the others, and although Nakai says he is supposed to be Taka-san’s friend in the scene, they declare Nakai the loser. Once again, Nakai gets flicked on the forehead as punishment. Gackt performed Kimi ga Oikaketa Yume wearing a red and gold silk jacket adorned with tigers, and a white tank top underneath. His hair was dark and short. He and GacktJob performed on a stage that was lit up blue, with red lights on the floor. They were surrounded by mirrors on the sides, creating a tunnel effect.

December 12, 2003
In this appearance, they first talk about Gackt’s house. He says his room is usually dark and lit with candles. He then talks about how he had a fountain and waterfall built in his bedroom. As usual, the hosts don’t believe Gackt, saying they think he’s saying these things on television just to create a character of himself. Gackt explains that he really does have a fountain in his room, and he demonstrates how big it is. Then he says that because of the sound of the water, he kept waking up from dreams that he was drowning. Next he talks about how he has a trampoline in his house, which requires a very high ceiling. His ceiling is seven meters high, and when he jumps on the trampoline, he can rotate his body. People always ask him why he has a trampoline, and he wants to ask why people don’t have one of their own! He says if there’s an earthquake, his flexibility (from practicing on the trampoline) will allow him to survive if the ground suddenly opens below him. Next he talks about doing shadow boxing, and they bring out the “suramuman” (slam man) doll to spar against. He demonstrates by sparring against it, and getting really into the “fight”. Then they bring out “furuyaman”, a real guy, and spar against him. Taka punches him, and he goes running away. Gackt is really amused, and says he wants the furuyaman. Gackt performed Last Song while playing acoustic guitar along with You and Chacha. He wore a casual grey sweater, and his hair was brown and straight, falling into his eyes. The stage was decorated simply, with blue and purple lights in the background. The background screen opens up, and there is snow floating down from the sky.

May 27, 2004
In this episode, they first they talk about how Gackt doesn’t like bright lights. He says it gets on his nerves when the lights are too bright—they test him out by turning the lights on really bright, and he looks very annoyed. He says if he is high beamed by a car, he will pass them by flashing the headlights as fast as possible. Next he tells stories about the days he cried. The first story is about getting a foot massage. He says the soles of his feet are very weak, but he had them massaged when he was in Taiwan. Although it hurt, he did his best to bare the pain. After the massage, he tried to get up, but the arches of his feet appeared to be reversed and he couldn’t stand. He says his feet looked like the feet of a rocking horse. He was then carried out by his staff. He was laughed at by people as he was being carried out, and although he wanted to fight them, he couldn’t even stand. The next story is about almost drowning when he was six years old. He talks about how he sees his memories in fast motion when he has a near death experience, and that was the first time he had experienced it. Nakai says usually people say things go in slow motion when they have a near death experience. Gackt says when he gets into an accident, the first part goes in slow motion, but once he hits the ground, everything moves in fast motion. Taka brings up the example of a speed skater that sees things in slow motion during the final stretch of a race. Gackt wonders what it’s like if that person gets passed while things are moving in slow motion, and he and Taka demonstrate what it must be like. Gackt performed the Seventh Day version of Last Song playing piano alone on stage. He wore a black and silver shirt and black pants. His hair was short and brown. The stage was lighted in blue and red, and the floor was covered with a thick white fog.

November 4, 2004
On this appearance, Gackt talks about his “sad stories”. The first story he tells is about an experience at a terrible ramen restaurant. The cook was smoking, complaining about making another order of ramen. The soup was cold, the restaurant was dark, and the soy sauce was stuck to the tray. Gackt complained about all those things and eventually left, but then realized he forgot to pay. He says he really didn’t need to pay at a place like that anyway. Next he tells a story about being attacked by a swarm of cockroaches that flew into his room when he was a kid in Okinawa. He was sitting in his room, when he heard a buzzing sound. He realized what it was, and tried to close the window, but he was too late. The cockroaches flew into his room and were flying all around, hitting the walls and his body. From then on, he hated cockroaches. Nakai complains about his story, saying he should tell more fun stories, but Gackt says he doesn’t have any. Gackt performed Kimi ni Aitakute, accompanied by You on acoustic guitar. He wore a black leather jacket and black leather pants. The state was lighted in blue and orange, and a layer of white fog covered the floor.

February 17, 2005
On this appearance, the set is decorated with red roses and Gackt talks about “Gackt’s self life”. Throughout the show, they are interrupted by Hiroshi, a comedian who does impressions (the Japanese love to do impressions games), who introduces each story. First, Gackt talks about how he always put his spare change into a big vase at his house. He says he doesn’t use spare change when he buys things. One day he went to count the change, and saw that there weren’t any 100 or 500 yen coins. He called his sister because he thought he was robbed. His sister said she borrowed the money! The hosts are amused at the thought of Gackt having a sister that comes into his house. He says he calls her “nee-san”, and that she has been married and divorced several times. Before he talks about the next thing, Hiroshi comes out again to introduce the story. Gackt looks very annoyed at Hiroshi, who is trying to look like Gackt, except that he’s wearing cheap vinyl pants. The next story is about how Gackt uses every last bit of shampoo by mixing it with water, and he squeezes every last bit of toothpaste, because he doesn’t want to get out of the shower to get new bottles. Gackt performed Arittake no Ai de, accompanied by You and Chacha on acoustic guitars. They were on a small circular stage, surrounded by the audience, who clapped along with the song. Gackt wore a pink and white print shirt, brown pants and pink tinted sunglasses, and his hair was long and dark. After the performance, Hiroshi comes out and introduces himself to Gackt. He appears afraid of Gackt, and Gackt shakes his hand REALLY hard.

May 26, 2005
In this episode, the set is not all dark and decorated like it usually is. The hosts say it doesn’t really suit him, and Gackt says the bright lights were kind of irritating him, so they turned the lights down. Next they show Gackt a video about the Land Walker robot. It’s a robot that a person can ride in and operate, and it even shoots out sponge balls. It costs 36,000,000 yen, and Gackt says he would like it if Nakai bought it for him. Next, they bring out small remote controlled robots, one is a Gackt robot, which can do Gackt’s moves. The other two are Nakai and Taka robots, who can imitate their moves as well. Nakai’s robot does dance moves, but it also keeps falling down during the demonstration. Gackt and the hosts have a match, and Gackt quickly masters the “body press” move to defeat the other robots! A full translation of this clip can be found in the *Translations section*. Gackt and the band perform Metamorphoze wearing long black coats with gold trim. Gackt’s hair is long and wavy. The stage is lit up with blue, white and red lights.

September 1, 2005
In this episode, Gackt returns to play with upgraded versions of the fighting robots. They first show some clips of the previous robot match. This time the robots are dressed up as Gackt and the two hosts, and even have faces that look like each of them. And this time, Nakai’s robot dances without falling over! The three of them are joined by the world champion robot, which is a much bigger robot that’s controlled by a guy’s actual movements. Gackt is fascinated by the guy controlling the robot, saying he’s like a robot himself. Of course the big robot defeats them all, and Gackt is still fascinated by the guy controlling the robot, saying he wants him instead of the robot! Gackt doesn’t perform a song for this appearance; he wore all white, and his hair was long and straight.

February 2 and 9, 2006
This episode is the Utaban versus Gackt Billibowl competition. Billibowl is a cross between bowling and billiards, where you hit a billiard ball with a cue and knock down pins. For the billibowl portion, Gackt wore a black jacket and black pants, decorated with studs. His hair was in cornrows and he wore long extensions. Gackt has brought his “my cue”, and he does pretty well. The hosts are amused by Gackt’s shouting and cheers. Then Nakai cheats by bringing out his “friend” Kimura, who is an expert billiard player. Despite being an expert, Kimura keeps messing up, and Gackt wins the match. Gackt’s performance of Redemption was actually aired a week before, on February 2. He wore the black and red Dirge of Cerberus outfit, which he wore during the DIABOLOS tour. He also used the specially designed mic that he used during the tour. The stage was decorated with lighted arches and moving spotlights.

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